I think most of u (my friends, especially those who are close to me) have witnessed me complaining in one way or another. However, only today have I realized that I am quite an ungrateful person (yesh, Fanny, i'm finally admitting one of my many vices - though this one is dubbed the my biggest and the most irritating/annoying = COMPLAINING).
Well, my best friends since high school, (TOFE - topher, owen, fanny, ewo esp. fanny - she always sing/shout this phrase to my ear -"lifestyle of the rich and the famous, ALWAYS COMPLAINING, ALWAYS COMPLAINING.. " a lyric from Good Charlotte - geez I hate punk rock bands..), they have always criticized me for constantly complaining, mocking me as being ungrateful, unthankful bas**** (and I am constantly denying their labeling me as "always complaining" because at that time, I felt like I was just wishing things to change to be better :P hehehehe, stubborn me - I know.)
My SMU fellow friends (and some of my SIM friends - Dewi, Yuli and Liany) may have heard me complaining how much I HATED SMU, especially LTB in term 1 (Jaenny was my biggest victim) and then later BGS in term 2.. (I have practically told everyone how much I hated this course and how "cruel" I was regarding my opinion of the Prof - yes I still think he deserves to got lost in the jungle - because he's such an arrogant, ignorant, cocky old prick!) Yeah, basically I HATE HATE HATE SMU..I REGRET moving to SMU..
BUT then recently I saw how hard the bridging students from Indo studied for their SATs, looking very anxious when waiting for their results and then enthusiastically asking the seniors for tips on how to ace their admission interviews and it just struck me as a revelation - they reminded me of how hard I have worked in the past, my tremendous struggle just to get in to (my dream uni!) SMU! (I have practically spent my blood, sweat and tears and worked my ass off to get here!)
It suddenly dawned on me that once, I was THEM, I wanted to get into SMU sooo much - even juggling SIM exams; which literally determined me failing or passing my first year diploma in economics; with studying for SATs to get in to SMU. My point of view back then was that even if I got in to SMU, (and then my diploma in econs from SIM will be deemed useless) I still want to earn that certificate - by passing all my subjects (I failed stats 2 - the advanced one - during the mock/trial exam - that's why I was so terrified).
After all my parents have paid so much money for me to study in SIM.. and my extravagant living expenses while in Singapore (yesh- I lead a pretty lavish lifestyle - I must admit).. This is not to mention that if I did not get into SMU, I SOOO terribly need to pass all my subjects in year 1 diploma in econs from SIM-University of London because I want that damn certificate and I don't want to repeat the subjects I failed!
Anyway, back to the complaining part.. I often said sarcastically and cynically how I REGRETTED making the move from SIM to SMU because in SMU, the competition is really stiff - the Spore people are so kiasu and I just can't really cope with the general attitude and the atmosphere was off. Adding to my dissapointment, my first term results was really low, and I was just really at a low point, or you can say - having a total mental breakdown.
But then it dawned on me that I am actually very LUCKY, because not many people can got accepted to SMU - (named the 3 best uni in Spore, after all the govt approved unis are only NUS, NTU and SMU - the hip and hottest uni of the moment.)
A lot of my friends got rejected (even I was rejected in my first attempt! but then I reapplied and finally got in :).. and then for ME to say that I REGRET it after getting what I have worked my ass off for a year, putting my fail/pass exams in SIM at an excruciatingly great danger and humongous gigantic risk.. I just realized how extremely ungrateful I am..
And then today, at the SMU Gym, my ipod played this song by Sheryl Crow, (her old song) "If it makes you happy, it can't be that badddd, if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you sooo saaaddd..." and I just felt like I just really need to STOP complaining, be grateful for once and be happy for all the choices I have made.
I have been blessed with more that I could ever asked for and I can safely say that I have been sooo fortunate to have all my wishes, hopes and dreams to (eventually) came true. (I have made it to SMU, when so many others can't)
After the traumatic, morally-degrading term 1, I focused on my work in SMU and I actually improved my GPA quite drastically by the end of the term 2, though not in the "genius" league.
But now, I've been constantly (and incessantly) complaining about how I regretted taking Management Science Course during summer term 3A because it's just sooo damn difficult, thus frustrating to me.. (when I could have been home, relaxing and prepping up for my big europe trip in june!) ahhh the regrets and the complaints.. here we goo again.. (as they say.. old habits die hard!)
And I just realized that I should really be grateful, because even though I have made some mistakes (that I wished I could have undone), I have really grown up and become more mature, in a sense. (I hope sooo :P)
Even getting rejected from SMU in the first place, (which forced me to go to SIM - my biggest dissapointment up to date,) have been a good thing, if I dare to view it more positively. After all, I have made some wonderful friends there in SIM (Yu, Li, Dew - Lena, Meme, Maya, Daisy, Shally, Yulia, Wilson, Sandy, Oscar, Affin, Pipiet, Rafael and lots lots more peeps that I can't name one by one) but most importantly, I have learned how to handle rejections gracefully [with my dignity intact] and eventually move on with my life - (though undeniably with many complaints along the way! - which is expected - knowing me :P)
So right now, I shall finish off with an amazing quote from Grey's Anatomy (at the end of the first episode in Season 1) "If you dare to take the time off to take a look, the view from the other side is SPECTACULAR"
Undoubtedly TRUE indeed.. So many people are envious of me and are jealous of my accomplishments and for me not to be thankful and grateful with myself and my achievements is such a waste of time and is just sooo DUMB. (not to mention annoying/irritating to my friends - yes I know - please forgive me :)
So, yes, I'm TRYING to STOP complaining from now on.. (though I may have slips every now and then) but then again, there's a first for everything right?
*This is a shoutout to my friends.. esp my current MS groupmates Serla and Della - who are always patiently lending their listening ears even whey they are busy with their own workloads and with their own life.. thank you so much for being such wonderful friends to me.. and ultimately bear with my complaints :) hahaha..
Some people really can CHANGE you know, or at least you know I'm TRYING TO.. hahahaha..
C u all till my next post!
Well, my best friends since high school, (TOFE - topher, owen, fanny, ewo esp. fanny - she always sing/shout this phrase to my ear -"lifestyle of the rich and the famous, ALWAYS COMPLAINING, ALWAYS COMPLAINING.. " a lyric from Good Charlotte - geez I hate punk rock bands..), they have always criticized me for constantly complaining, mocking me as being ungrateful, unthankful bas**** (and I am constantly denying their labeling me as "always complaining" because at that time, I felt like I was just wishing things to change to be better :P hehehehe, stubborn me - I know.)
My SMU fellow friends (and some of my SIM friends - Dewi, Yuli and Liany) may have heard me complaining how much I HATED SMU, especially LTB in term 1 (Jaenny was my biggest victim) and then later BGS in term 2.. (I have practically told everyone how much I hated this course and how "cruel" I was regarding my opinion of the Prof - yes I still think he deserves to got lost in the jungle - because he's such an arrogant, ignorant, cocky old prick!) Yeah, basically I HATE HATE HATE SMU..I REGRET moving to SMU..
BUT then recently I saw how hard the bridging students from Indo studied for their SATs, looking very anxious when waiting for their results and then enthusiastically asking the seniors for tips on how to ace their admission interviews and it just struck me as a revelation - they reminded me of how hard I have worked in the past, my tremendous struggle just to get in to (my dream uni!) SMU! (I have practically spent my blood, sweat and tears and worked my ass off to get here!)
It suddenly dawned on me that once, I was THEM, I wanted to get into SMU sooo much - even juggling SIM exams; which literally determined me failing or passing my first year diploma in economics; with studying for SATs to get in to SMU. My point of view back then was that even if I got in to SMU, (and then my diploma in econs from SIM will be deemed useless) I still want to earn that certificate - by passing all my subjects (I failed stats 2 - the advanced one - during the mock/trial exam - that's why I was so terrified).
After all my parents have paid so much money for me to study in SIM.. and my extravagant living expenses while in Singapore (yesh- I lead a pretty lavish lifestyle - I must admit).. This is not to mention that if I did not get into SMU, I SOOO terribly need to pass all my subjects in year 1 diploma in econs from SIM-University of London because I want that damn certificate and I don't want to repeat the subjects I failed!
Anyway, back to the complaining part.. I often said sarcastically and cynically how I REGRETTED making the move from SIM to SMU because in SMU, the competition is really stiff - the Spore people are so kiasu and I just can't really cope with the general attitude and the atmosphere was off. Adding to my dissapointment, my first term results was really low, and I was just really at a low point, or you can say - having a total mental breakdown.
But then it dawned on me that I am actually very LUCKY, because not many people can got accepted to SMU - (named the 3 best uni in Spore, after all the govt approved unis are only NUS, NTU and SMU - the hip and hottest uni of the moment.)
A lot of my friends got rejected (even I was rejected in my first attempt! but then I reapplied and finally got in :).. and then for ME to say that I REGRET it after getting what I have worked my ass off for a year, putting my fail/pass exams in SIM at an excruciatingly great danger and humongous gigantic risk.. I just realized how extremely ungrateful I am..
And then today, at the SMU Gym, my ipod played this song by Sheryl Crow, (her old song) "If it makes you happy, it can't be that badddd, if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you sooo saaaddd..." and I just felt like I just really need to STOP complaining, be grateful for once and be happy for all the choices I have made.
I have been blessed with more that I could ever asked for and I can safely say that I have been sooo fortunate to have all my wishes, hopes and dreams to (eventually) came true. (I have made it to SMU, when so many others can't)
After the traumatic, morally-degrading term 1, I focused on my work in SMU and I actually improved my GPA quite drastically by the end of the term 2, though not in the "genius" league.
But now, I've been constantly (and incessantly) complaining about how I regretted taking Management Science Course during summer term 3A because it's just sooo damn difficult, thus frustrating to me.. (when I could have been home, relaxing and prepping up for my big europe trip in june!) ahhh the regrets and the complaints.. here we goo again.. (as they say.. old habits die hard!)
And I just realized that I should really be grateful, because even though I have made some mistakes (that I wished I could have undone), I have really grown up and become more mature, in a sense. (I hope sooo :P)
Even getting rejected from SMU in the first place, (which forced me to go to SIM - my biggest dissapointment up to date,) have been a good thing, if I dare to view it more positively. After all, I have made some wonderful friends there in SIM (Yu, Li, Dew - Lena, Meme, Maya, Daisy, Shally, Yulia, Wilson, Sandy, Oscar, Affin, Pipiet, Rafael and lots lots more peeps that I can't name one by one) but most importantly, I have learned how to handle rejections gracefully [with my dignity intact] and eventually move on with my life - (though undeniably with many complaints along the way! - which is expected - knowing me :P)
So right now, I shall finish off with an amazing quote from Grey's Anatomy (at the end of the first episode in Season 1) "If you dare to take the time off to take a look, the view from the other side is SPECTACULAR"
Undoubtedly TRUE indeed.. So many people are envious of me and are jealous of my accomplishments and for me not to be thankful and grateful with myself and my achievements is such a waste of time and is just sooo DUMB. (not to mention annoying/irritating to my friends - yes I know - please forgive me :)
So, yes, I'm TRYING to STOP complaining from now on.. (though I may have slips every now and then) but then again, there's a first for everything right?
*This is a shoutout to my friends.. esp my current MS groupmates Serla and Della - who are always patiently lending their listening ears even whey they are busy with their own workloads and with their own life.. thank you so much for being such wonderful friends to me.. and ultimately bear with my complaints :) hahaha..
Some people really can CHANGE you know, or at least you know I'm TRYING TO.. hahahaha..
C u all till my next post!
2 comments:
omg.. owen finally realizes what i'm TRYING TO CONVINCE him in the past 4 yrs...
congratulation on being one level ahead in your maturity growth.
I am really proud of you.
wah, owen...u shd indeed be grateful...adek2 gua aja ke-reject dari SMU!! aargghh
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